I heard a youth pastor recently say that youth ministry would be easy if it weren’t for the parents! I know it can often feel like we are ministering to very willing students who are parented by flaky parents. I’ve certainly felt like that over my years of student ministry. But now that I’m getting older and have students in my own ministry, I’m beginning to see that those flaky parents just needed a little help from their youth pastor, especially since that parent is now me!
Here are some tips to help you build strong relationships with parents and better minister to them and their students.
Communicate Well and Often
I have seen youth pastors send out an email that announced for the first time that a retreat was happening in a month and that a $200 per student fee was all it took to sign up! As a parent, I realize I need much more time to plan things! As a youth pastor, try to make sure that you let parents know when big events will be as soon as possible. Fall retreats need to be communicated as soon as summer wraps up. Things happening in the spring should really get communicated in December. Summer camp and mission trips must have save-the-dates sent out sometime in January!
This comes from a parent who loves to hear about things frequently. Don’t just think one email is enough. Communicate regularly! It would be great to send a weekly email to parents reminding them of big and small events and even the teaching series you’ve got going on. The more you communicate, the more trust you build!
Host Parent Meetings
As a parent of teenagers, I can often feel like I’m alone in this endeavor. What helps me out is knowing that other parents are also parenting their students and going through the same struggles as I am! Parent meetings are a great place for parents to see that there are others in their church who are having the same issues.
You can also use parent meetings to remind parents of upcoming big events, let them meet their kids’ small group leaders, and get them involved in what’s happening in the student ministry! I always liked to host these during the big season beginnings—one in the fall, one in the spring, and a much more informal get-together in the summer.
Provide Parents Resources
The most frequent question I would get as a youth pastor from parents was usually something like, “Do you have any resources to help me with…?”
Knowing what resources I could send to parents was such a help for the parents who came up to me at that time. As a youth pastor, you are an expert in students. Because of that, you probably see many resources that deal with what students are going through. Keeping a list on your phone of books, podcasts, and blog articles dealing with specific issues will make you look like a rockstar when a parent has an issue they are struggling with. I have always liked highlighting resources like this during parent meetings and emails!
The more we communicate to parents and show them that we are student ministry experts, the more trust we will build with them as we minister to their students. And the more trust we have with parents, the easier time we will have ministering to their students!